The Retreat Didn't Happen. The Reason I Created It Did
This was supposed to be the story of the first official Portal Mindful Retreats scuba + yoga retreat. Instead, it is the story of what happened after I had to cancel it.
I had spent months planning the experience, working with the resort, talking about the idea, and imagining what this inaugural retreat would feel like. I wanted to see it come to life. But the courtesy hold date for my block of rooms arrived, and I had only three guests confirmed. To make the retreat financially viable, I needed at least ten guests. I was sad to cancel it.
I asked the three women who had signed up if they would still want to go to Roatán even if it would not be an "official" scuba + yoga retreat. They all said yes! So, I transferred their deposits to the resort, and the four of us turned this into a gals' dive trip. It was not the experience I had originally envisioned, but once we made that decision, my disappointment began to make room for anticipation. I was genuinely looking forward to meeting Say, Susan, and Leonora and getting in the water with them. I had no idea yet how special the week would become.
Returning to people who felt like family
When I arrived in Roatán, my airport transfer driver was Angelo, the same friendly man who had picked me up the previous December. That was the first sign that this trip would feel less like arriving somewhere new and more like returning to a place that already feels like home.
Going back to Seagrape felt like going back to see family. Mariela, who handles reservations, was there when I walked in. We gave each other the longest hug.
For months, we had been communicating by email. She had helped me work through the details of the planned retreat, then through the disappointment and logistics of canceling it, and finally through transferring the three guests' deposits so they could still make the trip. After all of that correspondence, seeing her in person carried more emotion than an ordinary resort check-in.
The view was still beautiful. The rooms were familiar. Town was still an easy walk away, with restaurants I recognized from my previous visit. The place already held memories, and within days, it would hold many more.
Like we knew each other already, but better
Meeting Say, Susan, and Leonora in person felt like we knew each other already, but better. That is the best way I can explain it.
There was no long, awkward period of trying to figure one another out. The connection felt immediate and easy. We were four women who had arrived through an unexpected version of the original plan, but very quickly, it felt as though we were simply meant to be there together.
Our group grew, too. I had followed Kay Kay on TikTok for a while, and over time we began commenting on each other's scuba posts. She had been to Roatán before and had friends there. About ten days before I was due to fly to Roatán, she asked if she could join us, and of course I said yes!
Then there was Greg from Vancouver, WA. He was already at Seagrape for a two-week stay, spending the first week with a friend and getting his AOW and the second on his own. Leonora had arrived a day before the rest of us and had already met him.
The rest, as they say, is history. Greg became "one of the gals". He kept us laughing with his dad jokes, brought out his ukulele by the pool, played and sang, and soon we were all joining in.
He also celebrated his 100th dive with us, exactly as scuba tradition says he should. If you do not know that tradition, I will let you look it up.
Roatan delivered the magic
Of course, the diving was as wonderful as I expected it to be. We had a couple of rainy days, but it did not matter. Once we were underwater, Roatan gave us the color, movement, and sense of wonder that had drawn us there.
One of the most meaningful underwater moments, though, had nothing to do with marine life. Leonora wrote "Roatan 2026 Portal Mindful Retreats" on her slate and held it up while I recorded a video. The official retreat had been canceled, yet there was the name underwater with us, written by one of the women who had chosen to make the trip anyway. I do not think I understood in that moment how much that image would come to mean to me.
Every dive had something worth remembering, but the experience was not only about what we saw. It was also about how we were cared for.
From Julissa, who managed the schedule in the dive shop, to Captain Kieran, Kevin, our divemaster for the week, and Ricardo, who took us out one afternoon, the entire team helped make the trip feel easy and safe. Great diving matters, but so does being with a dive team you trust. Their attention, professionalism, and warmth gave us the freedom to relax and enjoy being underwater.
The moments between the dives
The rhythm on land was simple. We ate breakfast and lunch together at the resort. In the evenings, we walked into town to find dinner. We gathered by the pool to talk, laugh, listen to Greg play the ukulele, and sing along.
None of those moments was complicated or highly produced, which was what made them so good. We had time to know one another outside our wetsuits and dive gear. The conversations continued after the boat returned, and the day did not end when the tanks were put away.
That is the part of group travel that cannot be promised on an itinerary. You can choose the destination, the resort, and the dive operator carefully. You can build in the right pace and create opportunities for people to spend time together, but you cannot manufacture connection. When it happens, you feel it, and we did.
What I could not have planned
I write often about my desire to create a community through Portal Mindful Retreats, but that is only part of the vision. I want people to feel cared for, to trust the dive team, and to come home with underwater memories they will carry for years.
What was supposed to be my inaugural retreat did not happen according to my original scuba + yoga plan. Even so, the intention behind that vision came through in a way I could never have planned. In many ways, Leonora's slate captured it: the original plan had changed, but the vision was there in the water with us. It was also present in the ease we felt with one another, the laughter on the boat and around the pool, the care of the dive team, and the simple pleasure of sharing one beautiful dive after another.
By the end of the week, none of us was talking as though this were a one-time meeting. We left knowing we wanted to see one another again and dive together again.
I am still having a hard time finding the words to describe how magical the week was. I only know that it was not the week I had originally envisioned, and yet I know it will be one we will remember for years.
Ciao carissima Laura, what a meaningful and wonderful trip you have described...exactly as if the original Portal Mindful Retreats with your original scuba e yoga plan would have transpired. Instead, you all created something even more special and perfect together! Reading your description of the trip made me think that I was there, and someday I will join you, in one way or another. Love, baci e abbracci.